Who is Hu?

[Fabian]

Den kennt Ihr den schon, aber es geht noch weiter:

 

 

Über das «Who is Hu» im Weißen Haus

 

Vor kurzem ist in Peking der 59-jährige Hu Jintao zum Generalsekretär der Kommunistischen Partei Chinas gewählt worden. Hu übernahm damit gleichzeitig von Jiang Zemin das Amt des chinesischen Staatschefs. In Washington machte sich die US-Sicherheitsberaterin Condoleezza Rice pflichtbewusst auf, ihren Chef, George W. Bush, über die Neuerung ins Bild zu setzen. Der erfolgreiche amerikanische Theaterautor James Sherman hörte bei der entsprechenden Szene im Präsidentenbüro des Weißen Hauses mit.

 

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Tell me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you, sir.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes!

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya askins me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: WeIl, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes!

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it. I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. May be we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Condi: Sir, Kofi on the phone.

George: Then have it cleaned.

Condi: I mean he will now talk to you.

George: Who will?

Condi: No, not Hu, you asked for Kofi.

George: Yes, with cream and two sugars.

Condi: Forget coffee for a minute, all right?

George: Come on, Condi, you started this. I wanted a simple glass of milk but you insisted on coffee. Now get me that coffee.

Condi: He's still waiting for you on the phone, sir.

George: Who?

Condi: No, not Hu, Hu's the new man in China.

George: You're confusing me! Okay, one last chance: Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir!

George: So, damn!, I really thought he's in the Middle East.

Condi: Saddam is, but Hu's in China.

George: Saddam is what?

Condi: In the Middle East.

George: So what has he got to do with China?

Condi: Nothing. You brought him up.

George: I did not.

Condi: Yes you did, but never mind. Do you wanna have Kofi on the phone now or not?

George: Certainly not when I'm about to talk to the Secretary General of the U.N.

Condi: But, sir, he is the Secretary General of the U.N.

George: What, one the phone now? Why didn't you tell me before? Get me that phone.

Condi: Sorry, sir. He hung up.

Condi: Okay, boss, I guess I have to spell it out for you: it's H-U.

George: What? The new leader in China is a jew?

Condi: No, sir, not a jew, H-U!

George: Are you makin' fun of me now? Not a jew but a jew?

Condi: Yes, sir. H-U.

George: Oh, no, not again. Yassir is in the Middle East, and he's no jew, I'm told.

Condi: No, sir, he's not, and neither is Hu.

George: Who? Well, Saddam isn't, I guess. But Ariel is, right?

Condi: A real what is right, sir?

George: Ariel, uhm, the Israeli guy. He's a jew , isn't he?

Condi: Sharon, you mean? Yes, sir , he's a jew.

George: No, he is not.

Condi: Yes. He is.

George: No, listen, I'm telling you, Yassir's no jew.

Condi: I know that, sir! He's an Arab, a Palestinian.

George: Finally you agree! Thank you so much. And neither is he in China, right?

Condi: That's correct, sir, but Hu's there, do you get it? H-U!

George: Well, if it's a jew, then, I guess, it could be Ariel. But I don't think so.

Condi: No, sir, it's not a jew. But it could be a real what, sir?

George: Not what, but who? You mentioned him before.

Condi: Yes, I did. It's all I'm talking about. He's the new leader of China.

George: Aidid? I know that name. Give me a. hint. Wasn't he in Africa?

Condi: General Aidid of, uhm, Senegal, no, Somalia, you mean? Yes, he was. But...

George: And now he's in China?

Condi: Well, I don't know, sir. Why do you think he is?

George: You just said so. Aidid, you said, is the new leader of China.

Condi: No, no, you got me wrong there.

George: So, back to business, who's the new guy in Peking?

Condi: That's right.

George: I mean, who is?

Condi: Hu is. H-U, do you understand?

George: I'm not interested in jews right now, okay?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And neither am I interested in Ariel, Saddam, Yassir, and the rest of the Arab world.

Condi: Now, that's a little harsh! With all due respect, sir. Don't you think so?

George: Harsh? What?

Condi: You said: "Damn Yassir and the rest of the Arab World."

George: Watch you'r language, Condi! Are you nuts or what?

Condi: But sir...

George: I think you need some rest. Have a little nap, and let me run the world.

 

 

[ Diese Nachricht wurde editiert von Fabian am 05.05.2003 um 10:48 Uhr ]